Should we let baby cry?

Should we let baby cry?

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A baby cries: it's his way of saying that he is very hungry, that he is wet, that he needs a hug, in short, that something is wrong. not going.

Baby crying

Babies cry the most and cry the most during the first three months of life. < o: p>

Around 2 to 3 weeks, the baby begins to cry more. Her crying then peaks at around 6 to 8 weeks and then gradually subsides until the child is 12 weeks old.

During these crying attacks, it is important that you, the parent, do not have doubts about your parenting skills. These crying is normal, and it wasn't for you. The important thing is that your child feels your comforting presence.


We can transpose the situation with an adult: we would let our best friend cry alone and sad in a corner? Really ? So why do it with our baby? Even if crying is hard to bear sometimes (often?), Babies don't have the ability to calm themselves down on their own… They need us!

Get to know your child

The solution is not always found quickly. You will learn a lot from your contact with your child, and it will come as you go. We discover our baby and we learn to recognize his crying. You shouldn't tell yourself that you're a bad mother or a bad father if you can't do it because sometimes it's more difficult. At the beginning, when your baby is crying, the advice is quite obvious: start by hugging him, talking to him and checking if everything is fine: We change the diaper if it is dirty, we feed the baby if he is hungry, etc. Sometimes the crying continues, we rock him gently and accompany him by speaking to relieve his anxieties.

No, that doesn't make her lungs !

An urban legend or a beautiful mom ;-) wants her baby to cry to make her "lungs". Research in the late 1970s actually shows that letting him cry dangerously increases his heart rate and lowers his blood oxygen levels. Worse: without a response from the parent, our child's brain is invaded by cortisol, the stress hormone, where a comforting hug instead produces a wave of oxytocin, the happiness hormone. < / o: p>

An infant never cries to manipulate: he does not know this feeling. Comforting him every time he cries is unlikely to spoil him. In fact, he will become calmer and less worried. When a parent responds quickly and calmly to crying, their baby feels loved and safe. The way the parent reacts thus conditions the first bonds of love and attachment that will unite him to his baby.

You must therefore pay attention to received ideas and advice from those around you. Instead, trust your gut, because no one knows your baby better than you do. Don't pay attention to ready-made ideas like these: "It's good, he's developing his lungs", "It builds his character", "He manipulates you to stay in your arms", etc ...

Attention ! never shake your baby. You could cause permanent damage to his brain or even kill him.

Some tips to guide you when your baby cries

If her crying starts during drinks:

  • Your baby may not be hungry anymore.
  • He may have colic.
  • He might want to suck rather than eat. Lay him down or rock him with a pacifier or small toy to distract him.

If his crying starts when he's in your arms:

  • He may be tired and he wants to sleep.
  • Even though it's only been two hours since he's been drinking, he may still be hungry, especially if he's having a growth spurt. >
  • He may need to suck to meet his need for sucking, which is a survival reflex in infants.
  • He needs stimulation (games, music, toys, massage, etc.).
  • Something is bothering him: is he cold? is he hot (touch the back of his neck to find out)? is his diaper soiled? does he have diaper rash? Depending on the case, correct his clothing, change his diaper or treat his erythema.

If his crying starts when he is alone in his bed:

  • It may be between two sleep cycles. Wait a few minutes to give it a chance to fall back to sleep on its own.
  • He may have slept enough or needs company.
  • He needs some reassurance.
  • He's cold, thirsty, or hot (touch the back of his neck to find out), or his diaper may be wet.

Whenever your efforts are successful, you will feel encouraged and reassured. Conversely, when you cannot comfort your baby, you may experience anxiety and lack self-confidence. However, these moments can even be useful: they will help you to take a step back, to reflect, to observe your child better and better, and therefore to know him better.

Crying from colic or fatigue ?

If all of his basic needs are met, but he continues to cry, your baby may have evening dysrhythmia. doctors also call colic. We can talk about colic when the child cries more than 3 hours a day, at least 3 days a week, for 3 consecutive weeks. Crying is what upsets parents the most as they feel powerless to console their baby.

This period of restlessness may also be, quite simply, the baby's only way to let off steam. It's the end of the day, he's a little cranky and, with his tears, he releases the tensions accumulated during the day.


A baby who cries and finds comfort in the arms of his parents does not become as one might think a bully or a manipulator. No, that will make him more… independent! Reassured and emotionally secure, he will be more sure of himself to face life.