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What is proximal mothering?

Proximal mothering is more popular than ever. We see more and more mothers appearing who opt for co-sleeping, late breastfeeding or babywearing. These practices from proximal mothering would allow mothers to listen more to their instincts.

So what is proximal mothering really? What are its benefits and risks? A look back at this new way of approaching motherhood.

Why the proximal mothering?

Proximal mothering is based on the idea that the baby needs to be close to its mother for the first months or even the first years of its life. The objective of proximal mothering is not to suddenly break the strong bond that was built between baby and mother during pregnancy. Thus, proximal mothering simply consists of adopting certain practices that promote a strong bond between baby and mother. What are these practices?

Practices of proximal mothering

Based on a strong closeness between parents and baby, proximal mothering brings together a set of varied practices ranging from co-sleeping to babywearing and late breastfeeding.

The co-sleeper

Co-sleeping is a common practice in Japan, China, Norway and some African countries.
It is based on a simple rule: mom and baby sleep in the same bed.

The objective is to reassure baby by letting him sleep with his mother to avoid creating anxiety in baby. This sleeping technique, also called “co-sleeping”, is very popular with breastfeeding mothers, because it makes feeding baby effortless. A woman can absolutely breastfeed her child while falling asleep, creating unforgettable moments for the mother.

However, some doctors advise against co-sleeping to prevent the baby from ending up crushed under the weight of his parents.

For co-sleeping, certain precautions must be taken to ensure that baby can sleep with his mother in complete safety.

Better understanding baby's sleep will bring benefits for you and baby.

Late breastfeeding

WHO recommendations advise breastfeeding babies up to 6 months of age.

However, more and more women are opting for longer breastfeeding, continuing to breastfeed their child until they are 2 years old or beyond. This practice of late breastfeeding, specific to proximal mothering, should enable a privileged relationship between mother and child. Doctors confirm that breast milk has many benefits and provides everything your baby needs. Late breastfeeding is not part of the norm, some doctors warn of the risk that the child will feel judged and made fun of by other children. To know when to stop weaning, proximal mothering recommends listening to your body and your desires. As long as weaning is a good time for you and baby, you can continue.

Carrying

Practical and reassuring, babywearing allows mums to continue their usual activities with baby always with them! The mum is freer to move around, while baby is reassured. Indeed, when worn regularly, baby cries much less, because carrying creates a feeling of security for baby. The portage would be beneficial to baby and mom. Babywearing is part of the line of action allowing a particular bond between the mother and her baby desired by proximal mothering. However, from a certain age, it may be useful to change position or stop carrying to allow baby to interact more with the world.

Risks and family life

Proximal mothering is disputed by some physicians. Practices such as co-sleeping or late breastfeeding can present certain risks. It is therefore important that parents remain vigilant if they wish to adopt proximal mothering. It is essential that the decision to practice proximal mothering be taken by two to avoid the exclusion of the father or the setting aside of the couple. A consultation with a psychologist can greatly help couples experiencing these situations.

Proximal mothering can also be adapted to men. With the exception of breastfeeding, the dad can also adopt practices of proximal mothering such as babywearing or co-sleeping. Moreover, we are talking more and more about proximal parenting to include dads!

What should we remember?

Proximal mothering is not necessarily suitable for all mothers. When some mums can't do without breastfeeding, others prefer the bottle, which is more practical for keeping their baby at the crèche or at the nanny's. Babywearing and co-sleeping are not necessarily suitable for everyone, and it is important to take into account all the consequences of these practices on daily life. Babywearing can cause back problems if it is poorly done, and co-sleeping can reduce the couple's intimacy. Conversely, distal mothering, which is opposed to proximal mothering, can also be difficult for a mother to live with. He asks to let baby cry and to wear him only very rarely. While some babies experience the independence of distal mothering well, others crave the attention of proximal mothering.

Each mothering method has its strengths and weaknesses. Perfect mothering varies from mom to mom, baby to baby. It is up to each mother to find the mothering that best suits her and her baby!

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