Reconciling work and baby:
stop misconceptions
Perfect mother! “The myth of the perfect mother is often maintained by women themselves who judge other women. 1,2,3… children and we work? or do we stay at home? or are we independent? … We are always wrong! »
Getting back to work after baby
Family or work, you have to choose?!?
The question of staying at home or going back to work must also be weighed with the spouse and take all the parameters of this new life into account: the cost of childcare for example, but also the financial independence of the woman!
You should know that the choices made in the first few months will be part of the dynamics of the couple and will then be difficult to change.
After her maternity leave, the young mother continues to manage everything , she resumes work overwhelmed and ends up stopping, "burned out".
The development of the new schedule, the new life must be done from birth.
We think of ourselves!
Reconciling life as a woman, wife, mother and working-girl presupposes being physically and mentally fit .
However, it's not easy to make time with such a busy schedule. The most important thing is to be convinced of the value of thinking about yourself.
Learning to manage your energy helps limit fatigue and to be more patient and attentive to those close to you.
We halve the mental workload: mum works on organization!
Even if dads are doing it more and more and many of them are as concerned as we, moms, there is nothing to do, often carry on their shoulders (and in the corner of their heads) everything there is to manage : from the appointment with the doctor to the birthday of mother-in-law, through registration for the nursery... With the return to work, the mental load will increase.
So, let's take action! No question of carrying everything on your shoulders! Once a week, on Sunday evening for example, we take stock with our spouse, on the schedule for the week. We share information to reduce this load. See who manages what. With smartphones, there are no more excuses... When the young mother thinks she can do everything, do everything at the same time while still working at night, after the baby has gone to bed, she is putting her health at risk in the long run. term. We have to find a solution for her to sleep!
The young father does not have this idea of all power.
Take also the case of women who have responsibilities. At birth, fathers rarely change their professional constraints. The woman, she is very severely judged for example if she has business trips, especially with a young child. It is seen as abandonment of the home! You have to put an end to these representations as the woman organizes and puts everything in place so that the baby is well in her absence.
Let the dad get involved to better reconcile work and family!
To get him to take things in hand more, we show him our habits to change baby, feed him... We ask him to bathe him while we do other things.
Sif we leave space for it, it will learn to find it!
We let go… and we stop checking everything after the father We like that the layer is put like this, that the meal be taken at such an hour, etc. But our spouse, he proceeds in his own way. If the dad feels criticized, he may simply give up and participate less. You have to let go!
A baby needs both parents!
A mother must be sufficiently present, but also incomplete! She cannot anticipate all of the baby's needs because it would be very intrusive for him. And too much physical and psychological presence can "suffocate" the child and prevent him from growing well. Small lacks are constructive frustrations for him.
