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Should we let baby cry?

A baby cries: it is his way of saying that he is very hungry, that he is wet, that he needs a hug, in short, that something is wrong.

Crying baby

It is during the first three months of life that babies cry the most and their cries are the most intense.

Around 2 to 3 weeks , the baby starts crying more. His crying then peaks at around 6 to 8 weeks and then gradually decreases until the child is 12 weeks old.

During these crying attacks, it is important that you, the parent, do not doubt your parenting skills.

This crying is normal and you have nothing to do with it. The important thing is that your child feels your comforting presence.


We can transpose the situation with an adult: would we let our best friend cry alone and sad in a corner? Really ? So why do it with our baby? Even though crying is difficult to bear sometimes (often?), babies do not have the ability to calm themselves down… They need us!

Get to know your child

The solution is not always found quickly.

You will learn a lot from contact with your child, and it will come as you go.

You discover your baby and you learn to recognize his crying. You shouldn't tell yourself that you're a bad mother or a bad father if you can't do it because sometimes it's more difficult.

In the beginning, when your baby cries the advice is rather obvious: start by picking him up in your arms, talking to him and checking if everything is fine. We change the diaper if it is dirty, we feed the baby if he is hungry...

Sometimes the crying continues, we rock him gently and we accompany him by speech to relieve his anxieties.

No, it does not make his lungs!

An urban legend or a beautiful mum ;-) wants her baby to cry to make her "lungs". Research from the late 70s actually shows that letting him cry dangerously increases his heart rate and lowers his blood oxygen levels. Worse: without a response from the parent, our child's brain is invaded by cortisol, the stress hormone, where a comforting hug rather produces a wave of oxytocin, the happiness hormone< /em>.

An infant never cries to manipulate: he does not know this feeling. Comforting him every time he cries is not likely to spoil him. In fact, he will become calmer and less worried. When a parent responds quickly and calmly to crying, their baby feels loved and safe. The parent's way of reacting thus conditions the first bonds of love and attachment that will unite him to his baby.

You must therefore pay attention to received ideas and the advice of those around you. Trust your instincts instead, because no one knows your baby better than you. Don't pay attention to ready-made ideas like these: "It's good, he develops his lungs", "It builds his character", "He manipulates you to stay in your arms", etc.

Warning! never shake your baby. You could cause permanent brain damage or even death

A few tips to guide you when your baby is crying

If crying starts during feedings:

  1. Your baby may not be hungry.
  2. He may have colic.<
  3. Maybe he wants to suck instead of eat. Lay him down or rock him with a pacifier or small toy to distract him.

If he starts crying when he is in your arms:

  1. He might be tired and want to sleep.
  2. Even if he's only had a drink for two hours, he might still be hungry, especially if he's having a flare-up. growth.
  3. He may need to suck to satisfy his need for sucking, which is a survival reflex in infants.
  4. He needs stimulation (games, music , toy, massage, etc.).
  5. Something is bothering him: is he cold? is he hot (touch his neck to find out)? is her diaper soiled? does he have diaper rash? Depending on the case, correct his clothing, change his diaper or treat his erythema.

If his crying starts when he is alone in his bed:

  1. He may be between two sleep cycles. Wait a few minutes to give him a chance to go back to sleep on his own.
  2. He may have had enough sleep or needs company.
  3. He needs reassurance.
  4. He's cold, thirsty, or hot (tap the back of his neck to find out), or his diaper may be wet.

Whenever your efforts are rewarded with success, you will feel encouraged and reassured. Conversely, when you are unable to comfort your baby, you may experience anxiety and lack self-confidence. However, these moments can even be useful: they will help you to take a step back, to reflect, to observe your child better and better, and therefore to know him bette

Crying from colic or fatigue?

If all his basic needs are met, but he continues to cry, your baby may have evening dysrhythmia, which doctors also call colic. We can speak of colicwhen the child cries for more than 3 hours out of 24, at least 3 days out of 7, for 3 consecutive weeks. It is the crying that upsets the parents the most since it feel helpless to comfort their baby.

This restless period may also simply be the only way the baby has to let off steam. It's the end of the day, he's a bit grumpy and, through his tears, he releases the tensions accumulated during the day.


A baby who cries and finds comfort in the arms of his parents does not become a tyrant as one might think or a manipulator.

No, it does will make you more… independent! Reassured and secure from an emotional point of view, he will be more sure of himself to face life.

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